Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Dook and cOvair
I've worked a few evenings late (played poker last night).
Yesterday morning there was a boom in the middle distance followed by a PA call to "duck and cover. duck and cover." It is done in the voice of one of the South American (Peruvian) security guards (who are polite, dedicated and great to work with) on the USAID compound and sounds like "dook" (rhymes with 'book') and "cOvair". I thought up a skit if our planned comedy show comedy happens (planned for next week or the one after) : A guy in helmet and flack jacket goes to pee. He is obviously uncomfortable with the gear and is confused what to do with it while he pees. He takes his helmet off and puts it down. Picks it back up and puts it on and tries to take the jacket (actually a vest) off over his head. Takes his helmet back off, takes the jacket off and puts it between his legs to hold it while he puts his helmet back on. As he unzips the zipper gets stuck on the vest. Just then a call of 'Dook and covair" comes and he panics. The security calls intensify as he tried to free himself from the vest and ends up rotating and spinning and slamming himself with the vest around his groin. When he finally crumples into a heap, he ends up standing up with the flack jacket pulled on like pants covering his crotch. Looks around, shrugs and goes out.
I also have a bunch of Dick Cheney bits. One is Dick coming in saying "I shot another one, call the press." "Another one what?" "Another Republican!". "How?" "We were out in the woods trying to get something - a trophy - something to stuff and hang on the wall and I mistook hm for game."
"Oh no." I don't get it -again?" "Yes! Call the media!"
"What did you think he was that you shot him?" .... " a TROUT!".
Maybe also have a bunch of one-lines by a new anchor throughout: "Dick Cheney today was rejected as a starter for the Boston Marathon. He has been asked to be a ceremonial starter for the historical race but was rejected when he insisted on launching the race with a machine gun." They almost write themselves
The "All Clear" came about 8 minutes after the Dook&cOvair -I took off my helmet and vest (and freed my zipper) and went back into bed.
Then in the afternoon we heard a loud boom much closer - I was working in the supposedly bomb-proof office building, but could feel a very slight tremor with the boom. Another 'Dook and cOvair' announcement but all we have to do inside the office is stay away from the windows.
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